When we are single, we can often put too much pressure on ourselves to feel guilty for our past mistakes and to see the value in remaining pure. The most important lesson we learn in life is that we will make mistakes and fail at times. I'm not saying that we should not take sin seriously, but our Christian lives should not be focused on a conduct standard as much as on the person of Christ. This is something that goes beyond the inner struggle. This is having peace through Christ.It can be difficult to live a life in Christ that is full and meaningful while struggling with lust and sorrow, but that doesn't mean that these experiences have no impact on our spiritual life. Some people believe that the work of the Spirit and a believer's moral life are not connected, but this is not true. The Spirit can renew our spirit and help us live a life that is in accordance with God's will even when we're struggling with lust and sorrow.I find it comforting to know that God can help me overcome my besetting sins, rather than relying on my own strength to do so. I think this is something we all need to find in God, as our own ability to resist temptation is often not enough. When we rely on God's strength to help us overcome our sinful nature, we can be assured that we will be successful.The majority of people feel more comfortable when they are being defensive, however this way of life that consists of denying oneself doesn't allow for much growth. I don't think it's possible to achieve personal growth if one lives like this. I'm aware that we are supposed to maintain a defensive position when resisting the devil, but we shouldn't just be focused on avoiding sin. We should also be striving to blossom in light of all of God's teachings. Taking these things into consideration is important because they hold a lot of weight. One of the issues we have is that we believe what is average is based on our own experience. If everyone around us lived up to a certain standard of Christian conduct, does that mean it would be good for us?I would argue that instead of looking for comfort and security in our own defenses, we should instead seek out the deep love of God. In doing so, we may find that we are more holy than we ever thought possible. The best possible position in this life is to be personally affected by the deep deep love of God. We are in the days of religious externalism because we believe any experience is just emotional. I would say that you can fall one day and the next day find a most holy affection by finding His grace as more than enough to take care of that sin. We tell ourselves things that seem to be comfortable and secure, thinking that just because we are defensive, we are holy.When we try to resist temptation, we are really just substituting it with self-righteousness. We need to overcome our own desires and impulses, without fixating on any one thing that will impede our progress. It may feel like a long and arduous journey, but when we are under the influence of the Spirit it is more like a series of short bursts of energy with the occasional setback.