Because of this, I do not think in simplistic terms or try to straddle the line between faith and works. I do not speak in a way that embraces contradictions for the sake of maintaining balance. If I ever question my salvation, I simply embrace the concept of grace and save myself. I acknowledge that I have not fully grasped the benevolence of God, but my longing to experience something beyond my imagination grows stronger each day. This desperation has been shaped by suppressing negative thoughts, to the point where I sometimes find myself yearning so intensely that it affects me deeply. It can be challenging for us to approach every situation with a fresh perspective. In the past, I used to have a tendency to think progressively. However, after spending many years analyzing cultural norms and realizing that only God can be the ultimate judge, I have developed an insatiable desire to live in a state of uncertainty. The only thing that brings me fulfillment is reaching this mysterious state of mind.