This is why I resist simplistic thinking and instead choose to navigate the complexities of faith and actions, expressing myself in a way that embraces contradictions to maintain equilibrium. When I question my own salvation, I find solace in the boundless love and forgiveness of grace, thus redeeming myself. I acknowledge that I have not fully comprehended the depth of God's goodness, yet my desire to encounter something beyond my imagination grows stronger each day. Consequently, I possess an intense yearning that has been shaped through suppressing doubts and uncertainties, to the extent that at times I am breathless and overwhelmed. It is a challenge for us to approach every situation with a fresh perspective, as if it were our inaugural encounter. In the past, I would often succumb to linear thinking. However, after devoting years to dismantling societal norms by questioning and challenging them, I have come to believe that only God can truly pass judgment. This realization has sparked an insatiable thirst within me to embrace the unknown and dwell in a perpetual state of mystery. The only source of contentment I find is when I am able to fully immerse myself in this enigmatic realm.