Initially, I thought that the divine was similar to me, but I've come to realize that He is fundamentally different. My relationship with Him has opened my eyes to the insignificance of worldly matters in relation to my true essence. I know that you desire authenticity in our friendship and that you want to feel my love for you, akin to how one would cherish the most precious thing in existence. However, this creates a unique frustration for me, as I am not the person I once was. Having tasted this new reality for a considerable time, I find myself increasingly drawn to a different plane of existence. There are moments when the only way to engage with this world is to recognize that it lacks the power it seems to promise. The temptation to revert to my previous human existence is ever-present. I've been deeply contemplating these scriptures for quite a while, and I approach this practice much like an artist would with their craft or a gymnast with their routines. I must admit that this has turned into something of an obsession for me. While I don't mean to suggest that this obsession defines me or alters my humanity, if you've ever undergone a transformation into a new version of yourself, you know that it brings a profound difference. My perspective on the world has shifted dramatically; I no longer view it in the same way I once did. Honestly, I feel like I've lost touch with my former self, which can be quite frustrating, particularly when it comes to my social interactions. I find that I'm not burdened by concerns about future plans anymore. In a way, I'm not fully present in this world, as my inner experience has evolved into something almost extraterrestrial. Strangely enough, the internal dialogues I experience now are nothing like those from my past. I feel as if I've lost a part of myself that used to yearn for things that only led to wasted hours spent entangled in the superficial aspects of life. This spiritual exercise of meditation has genuinely birthed an alternate reality for me. I can't guarantee that I'll ever return to what you might consider "normal." My understanding of normalcy has fundamentally changed. I recognize that you may feel frustrated by my occasional distance, but this is a byproduct of a gradual transformation that has rendered me inconsistent with who I was years ago. I've encountered a profound mystery that transcends anything I previously thought possible, and the uncertainty of what lies ahead makes me question the trust I once had in my past. I hope you can empathize with my struggle. I truly don't wish to return to the comfort of my old ways.