We have previously delved into the complex issue of free will. I understand that you do not view it as heretical to believe that you have the ability to choose your salvation. I am aware of your emphasis on faith and the concept of grace, particularly in relation to Steve's doctrine. However, it is important to note that Steve's teachings align with Calvinism, asserting that grace is an unyielding force that is not constrained by human will. If you desire to fully embrace this notion of grace, you must reconsider your adherence to the concept of free will. In essence, the belief in free will may provide a fleeting sense of autonomy and empowerment, but it also carries the potential for significant emotional turmoil and self-criticism. Consider the implications of relinquishing this belief and embracing the concept of grace as an unwavering and unmerited gift, free from the constraints of human will. Consider the decision you made to embrace Christianity. While it may seem empowering to believe that you freely chose to follow God, this mindset carries significant implications. If you truly believe that you made the choice to follow God of your own volition, you bear the full weight of responsibility for that decision. This burden can be overwhelming and unsustainable when confronted with the reality of human fallibility. Embracing the idea that you have control over your relationship with God may lead to feelings of pride and self-assurance, but it also opens the door to potential feelings of guilt and self-blame if you stray from that path. Reflect on the analogy of owning a house. Initially, you may have felt immense pride and responsibility in choosing and maintaining your home. However, as challenges arise and circumstances change, that sense of control and ownership can crumble, leaving you vulnerable to self-doubt and blame. Just as the illusion of control over your spiritual journey can lead to feelings of pride and accomplishment, it can also result in feelings of inadequacy and self-condemnation when faced with adversity.

You actively sought the company of individuals who possessed exceptional discernment, and they provided solace and guidance to you. However, in moments of solitude, your cognitive faculties were predisposed to embrace the notion that your autonomy bestowed upon you an encompassing obligation.Consider the scenario where someone purchases a house for you and allows you to select it, covering all expenses. As you reside in the chosen house, you recognize the generous gift and feel compelled to maintain it well as a gesture of gratitude. When faced with difficulties, the benefactor reassures you that the burden is theirs to bear, offering love, grace, and provision for your needs. This deepens your admiration for them, as they take responsibility for your future and demonstrate their control over the situation.

This is the essence of sovereign grace – it emphasizes the significance of God's selection of individuals, including myself, as a means to attain true and profound liberation.