God’s Love First: The Sovereign Demonstration That Creates Value and Breaks the Cycle of Self-Doubt

1. Love as Demonstration: Rejecting the Middle Ground of Compromise Whenever Scripture discusses love, it emphasizes action—an active, often costly demonstration—rather than mere feelings or negotiations. To think of love as simply a middle ground between human effort and divine initiative is to fundamentally misunderstand the nature of agape. Biblical love is outwardly expressed as the reflection of the high regard, the supreme value, the deep worth that the lover ascribes to the beloved. As 1 John 4:19 states clearly, “We love because he first loved us,” indicating that divine love is the initiating act that makes human love possible. If we continually fail to recognize and ascribe the highest value to God and neighbor—fulfilling the command to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30; Deuteronomy 6:5)—then we cannot truly grasp what love is in its biblical sense.

2. The Insufficiency of Human Love and the Cycle of Self-Doubt We do not have an endless supply of love within ourselves capable of fully fulfilling the Great Commandment. Every failure to love wholeheartedly reveals our deep-rooted depravity and leads us into a cycle of doubt and self-criticism: perceiving ourselves as inadequate, questioning our relational normality, and in turn, diminishing our sense of self-worth. This cyclical pattern is perhaps the chief psychological mechanism through which the doctrine of total depravity manifests within the conscience of believers—highlighted in Romans 7:18–24, where Paul confesses, “nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.”

3. The Non-Negotiable Priority: God Loves First We are faced with a fundamental choice: either God sovereignly demonstrates His love by imputing value to us—justifying us by grace alone—or we remain caught in a semi-Pelagian struggle, vainly attempting to generate enough love to satisfy divine justice ourselves. The biblical priority is clear and non-negotiable: “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10). God’s love is the source and origin (the fons et origo) of all authentic human love.

4. Divine Love as the Source of Value and Self-Acceptance The equation you propose captures a profound truth: love involves law—demands for perfect obedience; discipline—chastening for holiness (Hebrews 12:6); and inevitable failure—our shortcomings and sins. Yet, because “God is love” (1 John 4:8, 16), every aspect of His relationship with us—including His judgment, law, and discipline—is rooted in love.

Your sink analogy is fitting: we must first be emptied of self-generated love—the draining process—so that God’s divine love can fill us anew—the faucet flowing. The attractiveness of God’s love continually draws us back to Him, reminding us that love must be rooted in His positive, demonstrable action, not in our fleeting feelings or efforts. No one desires hatred or rejection as a way to discover love; genuine love must be based on the prior, positive, and demonstrable acts of divine grace.

5. Love = Law = Discipline = Failure → Yet God Is Love True love, therefore, is rooted in the active response to God’s prior love, not in an attempt to earn or negotiate divine favor. This encapsulates the essence of the Reformed gospel: God’s love is prior, sovereign, demonstrative, and sufficient. Our response—love—is rooted in His first love for us, which is fully, finally, and freely given.Ps. 59:16 "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble."

6. Creation as the Foundational Act of Immutable Love

Reducing love to a “mushy feeling” or merely an act of setting someone free diminishes its depth and substance. Genuine love is firm, consistent, covenantal—rooted in divine promises and faithfulness (Exodus 34:6–7; Psalm 136). God demonstrates love by creating and sustaining the universe for our enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17), and this display of beauty and goodness is no incidental coincidence but a testimony to His nature—He is not a deity who acts capriciously or superficially but a loving Creator who freely bestows good gifts by grace alone. Ps. 16:5 "You, Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands. 6 How wonderful are your gifts to me; how good they are!"

7. The God Who Provides, Not Merely Promises

Humans tend to promise what they cannot fulfill; God, however, faithfully performs everything He promises. If God’s love were merely a declaration from heaven without action, we could never truly know His faithfulness, patience, goodness, or grace (Exodus 34:6). Instead, He demonstrates His love through providing life and all good things (James 1:17), strengthening our faith and assuring us of His unchanging commitment to love us.

8. The Climax of Demonstration: Christ’s Propitiation for Sinners A final biblical anchor is Romans 5:8: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” All previous acts of divine love—creation, providence—point to this ultimate act of love in Christ’s sacrifice. Everything flows from this central event, and in it, we see the fullness of divine demonstration. Ps. 85:7 "Show us your unfailing love, Lord,and grant us your salvation."

9. From the Mirror of the Law to the Assurance of the Gospel

Theologically, John Calvin, in his Institutes (3.3.19), notes that this self-doubt is a natural consequence of the law’s work in exposing sin. The law acts as a mirror that reveals our failings, leaving us feeling inadequate. Yet, the gospel intervenes powerfully by declaring that, through Christ, we are justified and made righteous apart from our performance. This declaration breaks the cycle of doubt, offering assurance that our acceptance before God is based on His grace, not on our own efforts. Ps. 56:9 "Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this I will know that God is for me."