I find myself struggling to grasp perhaps the most confusing and difficult concept of all: doubt. Standing at this point of decision reminds me that, in the end, it’s never really about us. We cry out to God, seeking His help and guidance, yet what we often face is a mountain of responsibility—a heavy, almost impossible burden that threatens to overwhelm us. Despite our efforts, the truth remains: we are nothing without His initiating grace. Our salvation begins entirely with Him and can only be truly fulfilled through Him. This creates a paradox within us: we chase after Him with desperation, even to the point of pain, but then, strangely, we hold onto our doubts—finding a strange comfort there more than in His presence. The one place where I feel most at peace is in trusting my own abilities, my senses—what I see, touch, feel. But I have come to realize that this trust only leads to frustration, doubt, and misery. Relying on myself is a frightening and lonely place to be. Yet, in His mercy, God allows us to question His love, to scrutinize our understanding of His grace. Over time, we look back at what once seemed certain, using memories as a mirror to examine the condition of our hearts today. Through this reflection, we come to understand that His knowledge is timeless—He perceives all things in an eternal present. It is this kind of pondering that keeps me from slipping into despair, into a false reality where God appears absent. The truth is: He has always been there, and He always will be. Recognizing His greatness and infinite power restores my perspective at these crossroads, guiding me back to trust—trust not in my own strength, but in Him alone. It’s as if I am a spoiled child, refusing comfort because I don’t want to face my true need—that is, not just to see myself clearly, but to truly see Him. When we come to these crossroads, we often grow faint, overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness and wonder at His greatness—feeling dwarfed by the magnitude of it all. What if, even for a moment, we could catch a glimpse of His vastness and power? Would that cause us to fall deeper into doubt, or would we find Him holding us up, preventing us from giving in to despair? Doesn’t He sustain us even when our faith falters? If only we could see how our attitude in His presence is tainted by sin and corruption—then we would groan and reflect more deeply on His mercy. He is present in our songs, in our quiet meditations, even in the stillness of night—comforting us and granting joys beyond what our senses can perceive.