Currently, I find myself in a state of internal conflict. This particular period of my life has presented me with a recurring urge to compensate for past shortcomings by incorporating extraneous elements into my life. Adherence to the American ethos of rigorous self-discipline as a means to attain contentment is not a concept that I have been accustomed to. My life has been a continuous endeavor to simplify complexities. Until now, I had never experienced the inclination to yield to the prevalent idolatry of my surroundings, which entices me to augment my existence for the sake of inner serenity.The present circumstances have given rise to a significant internal struggle, leading to feelings of self-hatred and a wish to avoid temptation. I hold a strong dislike for those who engage in idolatry, while placing value on living a humble life and making contributions to charitable causes until divine deliverance occurs. Although I have employed this teaching method for 25 years, I have come to understand that my philanthropic deeds should not be the only source of sustenance. The prevalence of philosophical ideas and conformity to societal norms, as well as people's inclination towards religious beliefs, raise questions about the pursuit of simplicity. The act of withdrawing and engaging in meditation while simultaneously requesting divine deliverance plays a crucial role in preventing the enticement of idol worship. Despite the potential fatigue that may arise from intense prayer, I remain firmly committed to this spiritual practice. It is essential to recognize the inadequacy of human efforts in constructing and safeguarding without divine assistance. I implore the assistance of the Lord in aiding saints, as our endeavors are ineffective without divine guidance. The recollection of tranquil meditation and the sensation of spiritual contentment are highly valued. It is incomprehensible why some individuals opt to pursue a path that may seem correct but lacks divine guidance.