I guess if there is one situation i find myself stumbling over it would be this concept of doubt. I think this cross road brings us back to our senses that its not about us in the end. Here we are crying out to God and yet what we are faced with is a mountain of responsibility. Yet the truth is we never amount to anything unless we are brought to understand that our salvation was started by Him and will be brought to its culmination in Him. Here is our paradox. We seek Him until it hurts and then we refuse to be comforted because we enjoy the doubt more than Him. The one state that i am most comfortable is trusting in my industry and senses of site, touch, and feel. But yet this trust leads to groaning all the day long. This trust leads to doubt. Trusting in myself is the most miserable place to be.Its as if i were a spoiled child refusing to be comforted because in order to be comforted i must see that i need to see the need of salvation, I am in need to seeing Him ,not me. And when this cross road comes we grow faint, musing at our inability and His greatness and power. We faint under the magnification of it all. What would our existence be if we could get a glimpse in continuance of just how big and mighty our God is? Wouldnt we muse into our decline in doubt and see Him keeping us from doubting utterly? Doesnt He keep us even when we doubt His goodness? If we could just see how our attitude in His presence was threw with corruption we would muse and groan. Look at Him, there He was in our songs, there in our meditation, there in the night, consoling us, granting us joys beyond our senses.
Yet He even alows us to question ourselves in our understanding of His gracious love to us. In time we are left to look back on once was. We are given memories so that we can muse at the state of our hearts in the present and draw on the loving infusions of the past and in this musing we are brought to see that there is a timlessness in thoughts and in seeing that reality we see that God knows in a timeless reality. This is the musing that keeps me from utterly abandoning into unreality where there is no God. God always was and always will be. In understanding the greatness and power of God i am brought to my senses in this crossroad and begin to come back to my trust and confidence in Him and not in myself.